hello and welcome,
one of the first things alanon teaches us is not to make any rash decisions for a while until we know what we want. read the power posts on this site about detachment and about the 12 steps.
there is an 800 number to the nearest alanon group to where you live. use it. go to a meeting, there you will find people who have been exactly where you are now. they will begin the process of helping you to help yourself to a healthier future. a future with or without your spouse.
many when we find the door to alanon are so worn out from years of hurt, anger, denial, manipulation, and controlling the uncontrollable. we are ready to toss it all out the window. alanon teaches us a healthier way of living. a way of being able to see our part in our hurt. it also helps us to heal. to become healthy of mind, spirit and body.
welcome and i wish for you peace, joy and happiness. the program only works if you work it. good luck.