Chicory,
Welcome to SR!
I am the mother of a 29 yr old son who is a drug addict. He says he has been clean for 1 year as of yesterday - we had lunch together to celebrate.
My son is funny and kind, he would give someone the shirt off his back if he thought it would help them, he is very smart (but he thinks he's dumb). I love him so much that sometimes I think it will literally break my heart, but no amount of my loving him, worrying about him, trying to "help" him, etc. will make him live the way "I think he should." You see, even tho he claims to be sober, he has no job and doesn't appear to be looking too hard for one, he has warrants out for his arrest, but hasn't turned himself in to resolve the problems, doesn't have a sponsor, and if I "suggest" things, he always has a reason my suggestions won't/can't/don't work for him.
I can only live my own life, I can only take care of myself, I can only change myself - I attend NarAnon and AlAnon each week, I do alot of reading here and a bit of posting. I'm (hopefully) on a road to a better me with my HP's help will not only survive, but will THRIVE!!
Take care of yourself.