Ten years ago when I was trying to quit smoking cigarettes for the umpteenth time, a co-worker told me, "All you have to do is decide".
That stuck with me for a long time, because ultimately he was right. It all starts with a decision, then sticking with it. I needed more than that though, I needed to know the physiological reasons why I felt so bad. When I found out that nicotine closely resembles dopamine, and that my brain was so used to being bathed in nicotine that it had pretty much shut down it's ability to supply adequate amounts of dopamine when needed, that knowledge gave me the strength to quit.
Alcohol, as I'm finding out, does a very similar thing. My addiction isn't some faceless demon...it's actually me! My limbic system is trying to use every trick it knows to get that soft alcoholic glow it wants, even though it could kill the rest of my body in the process.
I don't need a disembodied force to save me. I'm the one who will decide not to drink again. I'm the one who controls my destiny. I'll arm myself with peer reviewed scientific knowledge to better understand why my body is going crazy as it dries out, and thanks to this forum, lean on as many shoulders as I need.
Murray