Originally Posted by
anvilhead 
one way to prove that theory out.........share your concerns with him exactly as you have with us and that you are ALREADY concerned that his drinking is an impediment and with the pending birth of the baby, for the sake of ALL concerned, including the children, ask that he quit NOW.......
I did do this. Except that I didn't ask him to quit (because I know better). I just told him how I felt about his disappearing and my worries and painful feelings. He said he's really sorry I'm feeling so upset and unhappy about it all but that, in his opinion, I'm projecting my past bad experiences with alcoholics onto him. He said he'd try to go more nights without drinking... but he was honest enough to say that it was his problem and that even if he was to quit, he'd have to do it for himself and not for anyone else (even me).
And, well, what can I say to that? He's right. Alcoholics can only quit for themselves... doing it for anyone else doesn't work in the long run.