Thanks for the warm welcome.
I wrote that after a night of hell. After reading through a few things here I decided to put some of it into practice last night. I realize that it's probably just noise to her but I started setting boundaries. I wanted to know what was setting her off to drink like that and when she told me, I let her know that those are her problems and she needs to figure it out.
The first year of raising our son was pretty good and in general I think she's an excellent mother. She cares, she's informed, she figures things out but she also stumbles. Sometimes she stumbled with the booze. Aside from her time carrying him through pregnancy, the first year showed some of the longest periods of sobriety to date.
He was breastfed and our stupid lactation consultant said drinking a glass of wine wasn't going to hurt him. Unfortunately wine for her is like a bag of chips. She just can't have 1. There were some big fights about that but I digress. The point I'm making is that it was a very typical mother/baby bonding time. I attended to cooking/cleaning and general household chores while she focused on the baby. Again, I digress.
It was liberating last night. I told her that I will no longer deal with her drunkenness on any level. Should she choose to go the route of the wine, I will be leaving and I will taking our son with me because it's not our problem. I think her eyes opened up a bit. I hope her eyes opened up a bit. Maybe I shouldn't care what her eyes were doing. I know that I can effectively remove my son from her problem and I think she knows that now too.
To answer a few questions. I can't lie or sit on the fence. Yes, she has been alone with him and was drinking. How much she drank is unknown and probably doesn't matter but I would come home and see a glass of wine/beer on the counter. She is excellent at justifying her actions.
I don't know if she's out driving around with him after drinking. So far she hasn't taken that type of action. She's made threats to leave late at night after drinking but I wasn't going to let her get on the road. I probably should have just called the cops but I don't know how that would affect our son. I just put all the keys in a pocket, hidden somewhere.
She is off for the summer. = Teacher I can't be there to watch over my son during the day.
I think I found an Al-Anon location in my area and I think they meet this Saturday.
Side note: I am agnostic. I've been down the path of prayer and god and I won't be going back. Perhaps that may be a barrier of some type but I'm here to learn how I can change. To me, that is a personal thing that I have to do and doesn't require faith in a single higher power. If I must, I can have faith in a single higher process/system.
Again, thanks for being here. I can't believe nor never thought a community of this type existed.