Had the talk..
It was very... anticlimactic? I dont know what I expected.
I told him I didnt like so much drinking. And that I felt like I was walking on eggshells all weekend. I said, 'I dont know if you ever felt that way about [ex gf, who was an alcoholic] but it feels pretty nerve wracking and icky.. '
He told me he didnt want me to feel like that. That he would cut down on drinking. There was no denial or blame or excuses or anything. I cant remember everything but he did say at one point, 'So do you want me to quit?' I dont know if the right answer should have been "yes" or what but I said it wasnt my place to ask him to quit, but that I know for myself that I can not live with the dysfunction of drinking even if it is only my feelings of nervousness about friends/ family/ the kids.
Thats enough for me. It wasnt a big pressurey talk, and I didnt make him feel bad. We didnt get extremely detailed or naggy or emotional or anything... but it's enough for me, to know that he knows it's a problem for me.
I told him that I can not get into a cycle of me disliking it and nagging and him feeling controlled, and that I have a pretty low tolerance for dysfunction and that I know I cant live with that nervous feeling.
I know it isnt that simple. But I feel like I did my part and he can chose what he wants to do with it now.
Im going to his house tonight. I know if he doesnt drink tonight that doesnt equal "a big change".
Just wanted to share that I talked to him about it.