This is the thing - I look at being in a romantic relationship w/an alcoholic as kind of, being in a haze. I mean, you find yourself accepting behaviors and situations that someone in a less dysfunctional relationship would be appalled at.
At some point, it became perfectly fine for me to get blathering phone calls and text messages from by xabf at the bar. Never mind that it made me worry he'd get behind the wheel of a car, or that he'd do something impulsive, like hook up with another girl. No, he was just having fun...taking his boys night out...(insert rationalization here.)
We humans are amazing at our powers of rationalization. "It's not THAT bad...could be worse"...while someone else from the outside looking in thinks we're nuts for putting up with these things.
And once we get away from the relationship and our head is clear, no longer muddled by the influence of the A's denial, we start to realize how much our standards of normalcy slid.
Originally Posted by
Lilly Burn 
Oh that is so true...I remember my STBEXAH would get up after a heavy night, he wouldnt know who he had offended or much else and would not want to talk about anything..he would work like a trojan round the house..he wasnt helping out, he was contrite...making himself useful, trying to run away from the demons, normalising as far as he could... I hadnt thought about that for a long time, but he did it all the time.... Lilly