Yes it sucks, but she couldn't keep her AD from dying while she was with her.
So...it's not like staying with the alcoholic, keeps them from dying or suffering the physical health of alcohol.
In fact, if everyone in the A's life pulled away from them, like she is doing, I think the A would be forced to face the consequences of their drinking and hit bottom.
The problem is that, like with a friend of mine whose bf is a hardcore alcoholic, other people are around who continue to enable him.
She kicked him out, but he has other places he can go. Other people he can crash with, who will tolerate his drinking, at least for a while. Thing is, his behavior is so extreme, there is a limited amount of time people can put up with it. Other people have kicked him out and what does he do? He comes around to her door again.
That is when we as codependents need to recognize our disease and just say NO.
Your A may be a nice guy when he's drunk, but alcoholism is progressive. Do you think things will get better, so long as he is drinking? Also, do you ever ask yourself what physical effects his drinking could be causing, even if he's a pleasant person to be around right now?
Alcohol is a toxin. Excessive, repeated use has a myriad of health consequences. At some point, your A will be forced to deal with these consequences. It may be a liver problem. It may be high blood pressure. Kidney problems. Who knows?
Something to think about.
Originally Posted by
Evey2010 
Sure... but my thought is that, while Al-Anon really helps a person become a healthier, happier person in general... your 32 year old AD is still dying and that has to still hurt, regardless of how healthy you've now become.
I don't mean to say that Al-Anon doesn't work or that it's not a life-saver for a lot of people (myself included). I'm just saying that, you know, ultimately, it still all sucks... Al Anon might make it suck less, but it still sucks.