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Old 07-06-2010, 03:45 AM
  # 9 (permalink)  
cheesegrits
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: CT
Posts: 46
You are at the point where my ex-wife was before she eventually kicked me out. I have been on the other side. If he keeps up this behavior he is going to wind up losing it all. Trust me I know. Just because you have a good job, it's does not give you the right to get plastered, and drive to boot. He will get a DUI eventually, it will happen sooner or later. He will lose his job, and will have trouble finding one in that field again, they do perform background checks.
Now as far as the relationship. I personally distanced myself from my wife by drinking. My main reason was she hated my parents and my sister, and used it against me, calling me a momma's boy, etc, putting my family before her. OK, fine, but I embraced her family wholeheartedly and was dismayed with her lack of understanding. After taking her side, big mistake, I decided I could no longer deal with my folks and started avoiding them, mistake #2. Then I started hiding my drinking, mistake#3. Eventually she mistrusted me and my lies, and kicked me out. I lost everything. I had nothing. I hedged all my bets on this woman. I did not realize she had some issues as well. I should have never married her in hind sight. But I was drinking when we were dating, maybe that skewed my judgment.
So I would look to what's really going on here with the relationship first. Do you respect him, does he respect you. Does he want to make you happy. Is he trying to change, if not, why? Dig deeper, there's a bigger problem going on, I'm certain.
The most painful lesson I learned was when my wife divorced me. But I moved on, sober and more eager to make my life better. I hope and pray you can work it out. Knowing what I know today, I would never marry a woman who drank. I don't care how much money she had, or how good looking. We all have individual lessons to learn, so I cannot tell you what to do per se. I just offering my point of view from being the drunk husband. I miss my wife everyday. But I also know I can never go back to being an alcoholic, so I guess it's a mixed blessing.
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