Fidget...
None of us intentionally wanted to get addicted or have our behaviours around addiction hurting other people.. but that's the nature of the beast...
Your right to be scared... your on the cusp of having a substance take years from your life...
I know what your going through... and I pray that you reach out and look for help where you are. There's no one right way to get right... ; )... but I know that the 12 step groups are open 24 hours...
This is the drug section of SR... lots of experience, strength and hope to be shared there...
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...splay.php?f=20
Your not alone Fidget... I've walked this path and so have many others... and there's freedom if you want it.