Please don't get me wrong. I'm grateful for my new found sobriety but I'm grappling with the issue of lack of energy now that I'm not drinking 24/7
I look around my house/property and see all of the huge projects I've got done while I was drinking that required a lot of tough/heavy manual labour. I was drinking for so long that booze would slow me down and act like it should as a depressant during the evenings, but during the day I would kick-start my heart by 7-8 a.m. with a couple of beers to stimulate my system and the thought of being able to hit the liquor store at 10a.m. to get my daily supply would be motivation to work, work, work.
Here I am on Sunday with more big projects to do and I can't get into it. This has been a common thing on weekends since I've been sober. I'm happy that I'm not destroying my liver and my heart isn't constantly beating like a jackrabbit but as a man I also judge myself on how much physical work I can get done. I feel benign & weak as a kitten if that makes sense.
This may seem like a stupid post as many would say that dying from alcoholism is far more important than pouring concrete and insulating a garage. I just never realized how much alcohol was a stimulant for me as much as a depressant. Despite all of the negative stuff that came with booze it did make me superhuman at times getting stuff done.
***footnote***
I had x17 sober days in and slipped last Saturday. Now I've got x7 sober days in. Despite this post which sounds a bit like I'm glorifying my boozing over the years I promise I won't slip because I can't due to liver damage caused by my years of alcoholism.
Any thoughts greatly appreciated
