Hi Super!! Welcome to SR!!!
Reading your post, really sounded alot like me...I've been sober...almost 6 months...I was a heavy drinker most of my life....my drinking became worse after my Dad died....I sprialled way out of control...made a fool out of myself on more than one occassion, tried controlling my drinking, and ended up being arrested for a DUI....a week after that..was my sobriety date...I had just had enough of it, the person i was becoming, wasn't the person who I truly am.....I was disgusted in myself, and so was my husband... I felt I had let everyone down.....
Now that booze is out of my life, it feels so great...I still have my down days, but its not like that gripping anxiety and depression after a night of drinking..it's emotions I can handle...I just go out in nature and spend time alone for an hour or two...and bring a notebook to write in!! and of course come here to SR!!
You will find alot of support here, and I wish you well!!
Keep posting!!