It's only gotten worse. He wasn't around to see his son leave tonight. No one could find him. His phones are off. He is with that chick, I guess. He is so far gone. He text me at 0300 this am, so 0600 his time, it just said, "hi" I didn't answer. His roommate has an eviction paper on the door for him. How does this happen. His ex wife just called me, she is so afraid the next call will be someone saying he is dead. I can't even believe this. She kept telling me that they aren't even friends, but he told her how much he loves me and can't wait to move here and have a life with me. Of course all this took place when he was totally sober and had been for a long time. I guess I just keep praying. I don't want him to be dead. I am just sick. Just really devesatated and sick...I am trying. Now he is missing, no one has seen him since yesterday. He did send me a text at 0600. I just want him to be alive. It's so hard not to care. ya know?
I am going to give you a little tough love here, the kind my X-addict BF gave me when I was flipping out over him. He said to me three simple words that slapped me silly (not physically). He said straight to my face: "Get. A. Life." Yes it hurt like hell. Yes, it seemed the CRUELEST thing ANYONE could say to me, especially him after all he had "put me through." I realized later on that it was the damn truth and the fact that he said it was a tremendous, unselfish, act of love. So, in that light, here is my feedback to you:
Why are you and his ex-wife and his roommate and whomever else you are talking to in his business in the first place? He JUST got married - so why WOULD he answer the phone? How does being out of communication with people for ONE Day constitute "missing"? Why WOULD he want to be found? He just got married. If I had just gotten married, I wouldn't want to be communicating with anyone either. Who exactly has this gotten worse for? Certainly not him. It has only gotten worse for you because you keep yourself in his business. He's not dead, he texted you twice and let you know he is not dead.
If you want to get better, get yourself to an Al-Anon meeting and stop being all in his business and stirring things up with his roommate and his ex-wife and whomever else.