Hey
BreakFree! I started to type, "I'm so proud of you for your accomplishment last night," but that sounded a little weird because we don't really know each other yet, do we? But, I feel something for you … more than happy. Impressed! I'm impressed with your strength and focus. And I thank you for sharing your experience.
Californiapoppy, we're happy to have you as a Junie.
Wilde, if anything comforts and calms me, it's the realization that I only have to worry about today! And today, I'm not drinking. We can't change yesterday, or Monday, or Sunday, and we don't have to worry about Thursday or Friday yet. We only have to deal with today.
Yesterday, I was experiencing a high level of frustration and impatience, mostly with work situations. I posted something on Facebook about it, and every response (except from my friend who I shared with over the weekend about my drinking) was along the lines of coping with my day with a bottle of wine! That showed me two things: First, how my reputation as a wino is very firmly established; and second, how pervasive alcohol as a "normal" coping mechanism is. I kept replying to friends' comments that I was going to work out to cope.
Finally, when a friend called me late last night to ask me to be his "date" to a party, I just blurted out, "I quit drinking. And I've been going to church on Friday nights, which is why you haven't seen me at the last few parties." And he was like, "OK. So, do you want to be my date or not?" I said that as long as I could go to church from 7 to 8 and then go to the party, I was game. And, because he's really a friend, he was like, Of course I'll meet you after church! Why wouldn't I? He acted like it was a non-issue, which I hope it is. I'm willing it to be a non-issue.
All that is to say, I'm going to a party Friday night. I'm going to take my
La Croix waters and be with friends who obviously know me as a big ol' wino. This will be a pretty big test for me, I think. But, I also feel like my "date" is already an ally, so I feel better about that. There is at least one more friend I can recruit as a lifeline who will be there. I kind of expect this experience to show me who "gets it" and is a true friend, and who I can totally live without and now begin to ignore.
(Man, I'm wordy!)