Well, the last conversation happened today. He was hung over, surprise, surprise. I guess I enabled him one last time, because now he can use the breakup as an excuse to get loaded again. He missed work, again, and his parents, who might be clueing in a bit, are screening calls from his drinking buddies. I agreed to talk to him one last time, but just to say my peace. I told him that I love him, and care for him deeply. But I can't live my life this way. I told him it's up to him now, how he lives his life, and now he can make decisions that are not affected by my boundaries. I told him that I do not want to talk to him again for a long time, I don't want an email or a message. I told him that if he can ever honestly say to himself that he is ready to deal with his alcoholism, that I will help and support him with friendship only. If he needs a ride to AA or couselling, I will drive him. But I will not listen to "I'm sorry's" or any kind of drama. I'm now out of this production. I will not take an answer tomorrow, or even next week. I will not check up on him anymore. I told him he might even call in a year and I won't be ready to talk yet. This is on my terms now. I gave him his chance to make it on his terms, and that chance was abused so much, that I know there will never be trust between us again. So goodbye dear friend. Yes we shared some good times, we laughed, we smiled. But I have also cried more in the last three months than I ever have in my entire life. We also shared a lot of pain. I will still feel pain when I think of all of the fun things we planned to do. toronto Pride is next week, and I am going solo now. That will be good for me. I might even be able to go have a beer on the patio. That is something I have not been able to do, out of fear, for a very long time. This weekend is going to be about me. But I wish you well and pray that you find the strength inside of you to start getting out of this and breaking the cycle. I know you have it in you, I have seen the glimmer of hope inside, I have seen the person who wants to fight this. But I can not help you. Only you can help you. Please find the light, because you are a really great person, with a terrible disease.