Thanks everyone...it's places like these in your offering of unconditional support that have helped me come to terms with what happened and have helped me begin to process / let go.
tjp...I know how you feel. Detaching is hard because it seems so "cold", but we can do it in a way that is firm but loving. An "I love you, but I will not accept your treatment of me because I need to love myself FIRST" kind of thing. And with an A, we know that we cannot truly help them if they are not ready to get help. By continuing to accept and enable the behavior, we are essentially helping prolong the disease.
I know it's difficult...hang in there!