Gabe,
Thank you for your reply. I have read some of your postings.
I guess I believe that if he decides to go down the path of sobriety again (this will be the first time with me although he had tried before), I am projecting that statements, boundaries or needs I bring up in terms of his sobriety will be expected the same back for me.
Then, I am responsible for his sobriety.
I don't mind not drinking for a couple of months to be supportive and to him and then having a limit but I have this feeling, he will say I will need to quit FOREVER. I am 26 years old, he is 38. I don't think it would be fair for him to expect me to quit for the rest of my life. I have never been told, by anyone, I have a drinking problem. Not friends, boyfriends, family, co-workers. He has lost one wife already and family and friends have commented on his alcohol abuse for the last 20 years of his life.
It does not seem rational. If I can adhere to a set limit, while he cannot....Why must I abstain for the rest of my life?
I have also offered that he could interview friends, employers and family to discuss "my drinking problem", offered to have a chemical assesment done, anything to prove to him I have never been considered to have a drinking problem.
Maybe I am looking at things wrong, he has to stop drinking for himself, not based on my drinking? If he uses me as a blaming tool or crutch...I cannot change that?
sadly,
giz