Just got a call from mom. She said she and my stepfather sat my brother down yesterday and talked to him about how he was going to die if he didn't quit drinking. She also told him again that I'm not going to allow my son to be around him at this time. She didn't say it, but it sounded like she respects that decision. It would be ok if she didn't, but it was still nice to hear.
She told me she realized that even though she has said things to him about his drinking in the past, she has always just gone back to acting the same way around him later. She said she now understands that if she acts like everything is ok, it lets my brother believe that he's doing better. She actually used the word "enabling." She also said she's making arrangements to see a psychologist herself.
I remain optimistic, but will be waiting and seeing on this one. My mom and brother have both seemed to have moments of clarity in the past and I get really excited only to see things slip back into their old patterns. I'm going to make sure my mom can come visit my son, but I'm going to make sure to emotionally protect myself. If that means we just can't talk about my brother, I'm ok with that.
I'm going to let my brother know that I love him and will support him if he decides to quit drinking. He can let me know if and when that happens. I feel really good about moving myself out of crazytown and focusing on myself! I'm not going to let my happiness be determined by somebody else's actions anymore. I just feel like I'm finally doing what's right for me. I managed to talk to my mom in a way that I'm proud of. I shared some things that I wanted to share but in a way where I was focusing on ME, not her. In the past I've always said things that I think are right, but I said them in a way I regret. I'm sure I'll have slip-ups, but I'm just going to keep working on me.
I don't know if anyone is reading this... but it feels really good to get it out there! I feel really thankful for this site and the people who share their experiences here.