Dee, Of course I want to be better. You know I am still having problems accepting that I might have to be teetotal, it is crushing the ego. I know I shouldn't be so pathetic. I know it isn't true but still there is the school of thought that alcoholics are weak people. Sometimes there is a perverse pleasure in walking the line, look at me I can do all this yet still be moderatly succesful.
I would say drink isn't the only think I have abused. I used to smoke cannabis from morning to night, this was years ago at university and I got good grades, people were amazed how I did it.
It is really pathetic I know.