Originally Posted by
incognito70 
See now this is valuable information to me. (and what nodaybut2day said)
Instead of asking him to quit and telling him he has a problem, I can put the ball in his court and tell him *I* have a problem with his drinking and see if his reaction is that his drinking becomes a problem for him.
Ok, hurrah for the first part, telling him YOU have a problem with his drinking. The second part about this perhaps making him realize he has a problem..no..do not even think you have that power or responsibility. The statement you make, boundary included might be "your drinking is a problem for me, and I want you to know that if you choose to drink, I will not be around you.". Period. Then follow through. The boundary is not for his benefit, in fact it really doesn't have to be voiced again. He drinks, you go elsewhere. If he chooses to change his behavior so be it. But at least you're protecting yourself, and children from being around his drinking, which is the goal, yes?