Originally Posted by
mf150 
To answer some of your questions:
It's a safe bet that your concerns are well founded. I am sure that 4-12 beers a day is affecting his health.
The doctor even seems to think the seizures and high blood pressure are related to his drinking.
There are a lot of us here who are considered "functional alcoholics." I've had my current job for 13 years, and I am able to pay all my bills even though I work part time. I'm a full time grad student, and I've been in a long term relationship with a wonderful partner.
The way I see it, you know what the problems are in your relationship. You talk of financial security and stability...what about emotional security and stability?
Have you expressed your sincere concern for your his health? How has he responded? Is he emotionally with you when he drinks, or does he seem to check out?
I think it all depends on 1) what you are expecting from this relationship, and 2) whether or not you are willing to accept him as is.
hello,
One reason Im here is.. I want to make sure *I* am not missing something or skimming over something that I should see as a huge red flag.
I know alcoholism itself is a problem, but the fact that it seems to cause no problems?? am I just excusing, or what? kwim? Thats what I wonder.
He does not check out while drinking. He does not ever forget anything and change his story the next day. Like, a couple times he has told me Im such a great woman and I'll think, 'Uh huh. thats drunk talk'. But really he says the same stuff when I know he hasnt had a drink at all yet that day.
Emotional security and stability seem to be excellent. He's so very kind and sweet to me that I almost wonder if that is caused from over compensation.
Its been 7 months of being together and nothing has changed or gotten worse or lessened, meaning, he's very sweet and considerate, he has NEVER been mean spirited, he hasnt hit a 'comfortable' zone where things have changed and I see a bad person who is 'the real him'.
I think it all depends on 1) what you are expecting from this relationship, and 2) whether or not you are willing to accept him as is.
as far as that, I dont know what more I could even WANT from a relationship. Besides to not see a beer in his hand. He treats me like a princess.