Good morning and thank you all for your responses.
I admit I am naive and unaware of things about an alcoholic, which is why being here and reading everyone's posts has been great for me. :-D
I guess I do not know a true definition of "alcoholic" besides "someone who needs alcohol"
I wouldnt say he "needs it to function" because I am 99.9% sure he never drinks during the day (during the week) and he functions fine. I have seen one day and one day only where he drank nothing. He told me more than once that he felt really good that day and he would rather feel that way and that he's tired of feeling the after affects of alcohol.
There ARE some times, one or two days a week maybe (sometimes less) where he does not drink 'much'. Maybe 4 beers after work and doesnt seem like there is ANY affect really.
Most days I DO see an affect. He gets more chipper, his eyes are glassy.
Another thing that maybe I have rose colored glasses about is, he doesnt seem to be on a down ward spiral. He seems (from what he tells me) to be improved.
It sounds like he was a major party boy all through his younger days, he's got story after story of car accidents (never him driving and his record is clean), and bad things that happened. Drinking was always going on and a lot of it.
8 years ago he settled into a non-partying lifestyle, but still.. he lived with the alcoholic old man and had an alcoholic GF. The drinking was still around, just no chaotic partying.
Over time, they both died.
He has since bought a house and he's pretty into and proud of "making it" even tho he made some choices earlier in life that affected how his next years would go.
1) bad marriage- that eventually ended.
2) 3 kids- he gets along with them well and always made sure child support was paid and his balance is $0. They are all over 18 now.
3) relationships- he says he has learned his lessons well and isnt going back to ever being in a bad dysfunctional relationship.
He's in a really good place in life now. He has more money since he doesnt owe child support anymore. Has a house. Same job. Associates with no one who is an alcoholic. He counts it as 'better' that he drinks nothing hard, that he never gets up and drinks like he would when he lived with other alcoholics.
Maybe the next step is just giving up the beer for good? He seems to have progressed over time towards better.