For me, I've found writing it down helped me get it out. I'd started writing a journal, but I've found it much easier to get it all out if I write a letter to my STBXAH, writing down what I felt about him, his excuses, his lies; every thing he did that hurt me, or angered me... A letter that I will never mail. When it was cold and we had a fire going, the letter would go into the fireplace.