Sasha - You sound like you are in a very healthy place and I'm really impressed!! I don't know how you could have handled your end of that situation any better than you did. Now, the hard part -- sticking firm in your boundaries.
I was in a similar situation when I was younger with an AH stuck firmly in denial, too. I
posted about it earlier if you care to read how it all turned out!
I'm so glad you're here at SR! It will be interesting to see how things unfold with you. I'm praying for the best possible outcome. ((((Hugs))))