Kate I read all your posts and I think you have a problem - but I'm not the one who needs to judge that, y'know?
Like Neo said, I had to burn the candle at both ends too before I grew wise - I lost health, I lost self respect, I lost careers, I lost a lot of friends and people I loved, and I lost the best part of 20 years....damn, some people even lose their lives before they figure this out....
I wish you a far easier and shorter journey than mine, Kate.
D