You're not crazy and you're not inventing the whole thing. And your frequency of bitching does not correlate with his level of drinking. So many of us have felt that way before. The thing is, you can't make him change, but you absolutely have the right to take action to protect your children and to pursue your happiness. I've heard that little girls learn from their daddies about how to be treated when they are women, but I think they also learn from their mommies. If Mommy sticks around trying or hoping to change Daddy, that's what a relationship looks like to a little kid. But it's not just your kids - YOU deserve to be happy. You don't need a definite answer on whether he's an alcoholic in order to feel free to say, "I'm not happy with the status quo." If you're not happy with things as they are, you have every right to take action to change things.