Originally Posted by
LisaJean1970 
Things are really starting to look better for us. I think it has to do with my trying to be supportive, and not just suspicious and accusatory toward him. That is, I'm honestly trying to work with him, rather than waiting for him to screw up again. I decided that if I love him and want it to work, I have to not boot him out every time he slips.
I'll say it again: you
do not have the ability to influence your husband's drinking, whether it be by "nagging him less" or "being less accusatory". He's going to do what he's going to do. It doesn't matter if his job requires him to be on call all the time and thereby not drink. He'll find a way. By "working with him", you're setting yourself up for some major disappointment when he starts drinking and you in turn feel as though he's betrayed you when you've been giving it your all.
I'm not trying to burst your pre-baby-bubble. I remember exactly wanting to feel as though everything was a-ok before DD was born, because it felt wrong to bring a child into a chaotic house. I also remember what it's like to be late (hello, I went to 42 weeks + 1 day), and how crazy it can make you. Reality is rather skewed then. In my case, DD was born, it was lovely, we had our honeymoon phase, and slowly but surely, life went back to the hell it was beforehand, only I had a baby on my hands and wasn't able or willing to wipe a grown man's tush anymore.
In a very real sense, my DD saved me. She gave me a reason to fight because I wasn't going to stand by and watch her grow up with an abusive alkie father.
I sincerely hope for your sake that your child's arrival has that same "slap in the face" effect that DD had for me.