Hi Everybody,
I'm happy to see we've added a few more to our group!
I am finishing up day 10 here. The past ten days have been up and down, but mostly up.
I've been doing a lot of thinking about myself, my life, the past four years of nightly overconsumption, and where to go from here. It's much easier to do with a clear head.
Through all my thinking, the baseline doesn't change: drinking was not working for me and has no place in my life. It promotes failure, not success. I can not drink if I want to accomplish what I want to accomplish, feel how I want to feel, be comfortable in my own skin, and live honestly.
That said, I am trying to sort of my feelings, habits, and thoughts now that I am not drinking every night. That brings up the where do I go from here?
Well, that said, I can do pretty much whatever I want at night. Just not drink. Is checking email sober terrible? No. Is chatting on the phone sober unpleasant? No. Is anything really that bad? No.
I'm really trying to sort of what I need to give my stress and energy to and what I don't. Also to focus on the positive and don't give negative feelings where they aren't needed.
Alcohol wasn't running my life but it certainly was making it progressively worse. My life is very much the same from 8 am to 5 pm. Actually exactly the same but I'm not hung over. What a new and amazing feeling. So, if I find myself stressing during the day, when I didn't drink anyway, about alcohol I use of my three affirmations: shut up, snap out of it, and wow, I'm not hung over and I like it.
At night is a slightly different story. My entire being is different but I'm doing the same things as I was before, just sober and it feels good.
Anyways, that was a bit of a long blabber but it's where I'm at tonight. It is such a change, it takes some time to get used to it.
I guess what I am trying to say was that I spent the last 10 days in a funk, putting my life on hold. Well now I am ready to regain a sense of normalcy without drinking. The not drinking part is still difficult at times but 90% of my day is not only fine, but much better than before. I am keeping my focus on the 90%.