I have been reading this site for many months, only actually joined last month. And I am so very disappointed that a group of people who have been through what we have all been through can be so very judgemental about someone's life and choices.
You are not here to pass judgement or to tell anyone what to do with their lives. Clearly none of us is in a position to tell anyone else the correct way to make choices about their lives. Shame on you, all of you who have felt the pain of this disease.
Anon, all you can do is be true to yourself and your heart, and if you really love this man, and believe you can have a life together...get yourself clear and healthy. Let him do the same. Everything will work out.
I spent years wanting to be with a man I believed was the only answer to my long-term happiness. And we were both married, and he is an alcoholic, and we both got divorced, and we moved in together, and I left shortly after, and I live alone now, and I like it. And he is in recovery, working really hard, and I still love him for all the reasons I ever have. I am much older, I have had my children, so I have the luxury of taking my time.
Please just take time for you. If your love is real, it will stand the test of time. Don't be afraid to lose him. If you can lose him that easily...you never really had him. If you believe in your love, you should believe that time will not diminish it. Take that leap of faith...I promise you, no matter what...you will not be disappointed.
And the rest of you...Do not pass GO, Do not collect 200 dollars...judgement against others has no place in our recovery.
For those of you who suggested Al-anon, and offered Anon encouragement to take care of herself...you are the reason I am here, and the reason I keep coming back.