Hello all,
Feel like I have opened a can of worms. Thanks to everyone for all these comments.
First, I'm not AA bashing or trying to denigrate anyone else's beliefs but rather (like all of us newbies) wrestling with some fundamental, life-changing concepts. It can be confusing and difficult! My comments may well say as much about my own perceptions as about AA. At the moment, I don't really know what I think or feel: sometimes one thing, sometimes five different things at once.
I must remember that meetings are not simply for my benefit. This was very helpful.
Life often contains contradiction.
Thank god for this site where anything that isn't appropriate for a share can be vented and freely discussed.
It was a member's 1st sobriety birthday today. There was cake and cards and lots of celebration. I mentioned some of the issues I've been having to one of the old timers who (infuriatingly, in the context of this thread) made me feel instantly much better with a slogan. 'One day at a time'. My shoulders dropped. So, rather than attempting to inhale the entire program in one breath and instantly be soberGandhi, I'm going to stop worrying about all this and start again at the beginning.
Is all this me working myself up to another drink? Looking for something to feel badly about?
Damn, this isn't easy.
Thanks everyone.
SM