Hi Max
I'm not an AAer, but I'm still three years in recovery so I know there are other ways to the top of the mountain.
The only thing I will say is think about it all carefully.
Make sure whatever you do, you're genuinely acting in your best interests and not simply reacting to something you find strange and unfamiliar or uncomfortable - some of the best things in my recovery have been strange unfamiliar and uncomfortable things that I really
didn't want to do...but I knew I had to, and I'm glad now I did
D