Anon, if you are looking for us to condone the affair, I'm afraid that just isn't going to happen. If the guy is unhappy with his current partner, he should leave that relationship before embarking on another. The line about staying together because of the children is a worn out cliche that has long since been debunked. Most times, it is better to come from a broken home than to live in one. The children cannot possibly be happy with the status quo. If you are content to live with the idea of seeing someone when it is convenient for them and taking the crumbs he is willing to throw your way, then fine. Continue on as you are. But don't expect us to say it's right.