Originally Posted by MsAngel

Have you stopped to consider this is really why he is contacting you? Like I said before you are his escape from his misery. What he fails to realize is that much of his misery & unhappiness is internal.

Even if he leaves his wife & you two get together, he won't be happy. Short-term he may be, but long-term he will face the same misery he faces now. You may love this man, but you can't fix this man anymore than any of us can fix our alcoholic spouses. As has been mentioned many times, alcoholism is a symptom of a deeper problem & that deeper problem is not his wife or kids. It is actually very likely that his alcoholism is the reason his relationship with his wife is failing. It is very possible his wife is finally pushing him away & he is seeking someone else to take her place. Don't believe his version of things, because alcoholics tend to warp the truth to fit their needs. My AH has a nice story on how it was my fault he completely trashed our house.

If you start a real relationship with this man while he is still drinking & without him (and you) getting some serious counseling, then you will find yourself on a long road with a lot of pain ahead. Read many stories on here on what people go through with alcoholic spouses & ask yourself if you really want to put yourself in that position. Don't think you are different or that your love is special or that you can somehow fix this man, because none of that is true.