We're all behind you here.
I always made promises in the morning and broke them by the time late afternoon came around. After doing this for years, I finally saw (duh) that I was going to repeat that pattern every day unless I reached out for help. What was scary was knowing that it was only going to get worse.
It OK to make sobriety the #1 priority (before work and kids, even) - you may have to do that initially. Have you looked into any other options: treatment, doctors, etc....?
Sorry you're hurting, almay. I'm sending positive thoughts and prayers your way.
