Melinda,
I hope you manage to sleep. Crying is such a good thing. I always feel it makes me re-connect with the child inside me. With that child we all pretend is not a child anymore when we enter 'adulthood' whatever it means. In my opinion, it means we all get into the world of pretending. Pretending we are responsible, pretending we do not need a hand for almost everything, pretend we do not throw tantrums because we are unable to manage emotions... And of course, being an adult means permission to do 'adult-things' like drinking...
Sorry this is not very coherent... but yes, I feel huge waves of emotions going on. Feels like instead of loosing control, alcohol heps me stay under control. Weird, eh?