keithj

Likewise, mamm, you are entitled to your opinion.
Why do you believe this? What basis do you have for this belief, other than your opinion? Of course, all of us are different. But as far as our alcoholism manifests, we are all amazingly similar. Outside stressors are not the reason I drank, even though it seemed like that at the time.

I asked Grace to consider an idea that has been the foundation of recovery for hundreds of thousands of recovered alcoholics. Recovered alcoholics who do not continue to relapse, and who believe that their problem is solved for good and all. What she does with that consideration is up to her.

Why is it that someone who has no intention of ever picking up the bottle again, picks it up anyway? Despite the suffering and humiliation of the last debacle, why do we pick it up again? That lack of power is the basic nature of alcoholism. I asked Grace to consider that the reason she picked up is not because she is weak or is a failure, but instead because she lacks the power needed.

I beg to disagree. And I think the evidence supports my view. Relapsing after a month is not doing so well. People that are doing so well do not find themselves drunk and feeling the remorse that Grace does. Doing so well would be on a path to never picking up a drink again. Doing so well would be a transformed life of contended usefulness.

Really, the only thing that indicated she was doing so well was a bunch of people telling her she was doing so well.

In my time of sobriety, I have seen hundreds if not thousands of people who were surrounded by others telling them how well they were doing, go right back to drinking and to a worse despair than they have ever known. All the while being told how well they are doing by well-meaning people around them. We sit around and love people right to death by reinforcing the delusion that their life circumstances made them drink again.

The truth is, that this cycle has been played out thousands of times in thousands of alcoholics over and over again. Despite all the uniqueness of those thousands of lives, and all the unique circumstances in those lives, this cycle is nearly universal.

How is it that her drinking again is dependent on her life circumstances when many thousands of others with totally different circumstances than hers do the exact same thing?

The circumstances are all different. The common thing is alcoholism. That cycle of quitting, relapsing, remorse, swearing off for good (again), relapsing is a condition of alcoholism and delusion. It doesn't require any reinforcement from others.