Hi Kckman!
I'm glad your working hard at trying to stay sober. It does get better with time. But for most we can't do it alone. I myself tried and simply couldn't. Once I found a nework of support, I learned to begin to realize sobriety is the best thing I could do for myself, but I'll alway's need the support of my program, my family here and at home to help keep me grounded in this life long decision. Looking into the future is not an option, I remain firmly planted on the one day at a time principle, and with that, I know I can manage my decision with confidence that I can be a winner in this game of sobriety.
I hope you'll begin to look for a means of support in your area.