Everybody deserves kind words disgrace.
You haven't done anything noone else here hasn't done at least once, if not many many times, like myself.
Self loathing is such a useless emotion - it serves no positive purpose...it only keeps us in that shame spiral that can often lead back to more drinking.
Try and focus on being pro-active...you need to learn more coping strategies for next time, and perhaps find more support, learn to reach out before you drink.
All of these areas you can explore as soon as you want to start - it's far better than self-recriminations, believe me
D