Hi and welcome to SR, it is really tough this A, but when they tell u they are going to work it themselves, I wouldnt bank on it, yes he may do it a week or two, all looks well to you and he stops, all the old patterns come back. If he is bad he wont truely be able to stop on his own. Look at the stickies on top of the threads, read others views, i am sure u will find lots of support. I wouldnt rush into any marriage, until you are sure u can live with him as he is, u don't want to expose your kids to an unstable environment. Yes, he may recover, but as I found out 8 years later, he has relapsed and back to step 1. (((HUGS)))