((((mentallyex)))) When my RAH left me in Sept, I felt just like you. I felt rejected. I would cry for nights, saying to my son (who is my Godsend) that "how could he do this to me?" You see, for a few years now, I took him back after rehabs, for him to relapse shortly afterward. I kept saying "I should have been the one to leave, and now he leaves me????"
Just think of it this way ... this is your chance. Your HP did for you what you could not do for yourself. It took me about 2 - 3 weeks to really get over the fact that mine left me. I pulled myself together, paid our bills, did what I had to do, attended Alanon and counseling, and really got a good perspective on the dynamics of our relationship. I gained so much clarity during the time he was gone. I did take him back after his stint in jail (yep, he knew how to take care of himself so well that he got 3 dwi's in a week lol) based on his promises of working a good, strong recovery program (which if you read my recent post, he has not followed thru on this month). In any event, please take this time for you. You deserve so much better and especially in light of the violence issue. You will get past this, and you will be thankful for this miracle. Trust me, I have been there, and those months without him were the absolute best months of my life, especially for my own personal growth. I am a different person now, I love me and value me so much more now. Hang in there, it will all be ok