it is GREAT that you realise you are minimising the bad. Please go back and read all your threads, I find that I am am repeatedly surprised by
the same parts of my history. Surprised that they happened, although I remember them when I read the details, I "forget" them in between. constantly re-reading and writing down lists of what has happened kept me focussed on the complete picture of our relationship. Even now, seperated and divorcing, if I am not careful and watch my self, if he acknowledges my hello with a hello back, I build that into a huge personality plus, that wipes away the horrible things he has done and continues to do, when actually, to not ignore a direct greeting is barely the least level of politeness I would expect from a stranger.
Thankfully, he is mostly erratic and demanding and lies and accuses so, even my screwed up brain doesn't have much to work with!
It is hard to get a handle on the complete truth, my therapist described my ability to forget and adapt as a coping mechanism that would serve me very well in a situation where I was truely trapped, and that I develope as a child (where I was trapped).
But it doesn't help us as adults in situations where we aren't trapped, because it keeps us stuck in awful situations, when our lives could be filled with joy, not terror and chaos. But in order to change our lives we have to be able to see clearly what they really are like.
look back at your posts sweetheart
.