(((Teke)))
Thanks for sharing that with us. I'm glad you popped in to let us know what was going on. It sounds like your step-son may have some mental health stuff going on; possibly depression. JMO... he's hiding out, avoiding his life and his responsibilities to himself. I don't blame you if you decided to kick him out on his rear and say I love you, but you gotta get to living your life man cause nobody else is going to do it for you. Sounds like he knows he gets sympathy from you and knows you'll let him stay. Now, think about how it would be if the roles were reversed. Does he really believe that you are helping him by letting him stay there and hide out? If he tries to guilt you it's because he knows manipulation will work and you'll give in, feel sorry for him, and let him stay longer. So, I say you have every right to tell him you can't take care of him and it's not about being mean it's about being loving. If you or anyone else continues to give in to him he will never get it together and pick up where he left off and start living. If he is depressed about his life a good dose of reality is sure to help him see that he needs to get himself together and take care of his issues. I don't know his personal reasons for leaving the force, but obviously it was something big and maybe now he's just having a hard time facing reality. I can relate to that right now. I want to hide out too and go home to mom but I can't...I never can again.
My thoughts and prayers are with you to have a thick skin around him to set your boundaries and follow through. I pray for him too that God will lead him out of the darkness and into the light and God will be with him through that tunnel and get him to a place where he can feel good about his next step. Hugs to you Teke!!
AJ