Betterlate, your post really rang true with me. It reminds me of a song quote I like that goes "you don't deserve to be lonely / but those drugs you got won't make you feel better / pretty soon you'll find it's the only / little part of your life you're keeping together."
Realizing drinking was the only thing I've been succeeding at the past few years was a big step for me. When I really let it sink in that EVERY other area of my life was being neglected, that alcohol was the only thing I was living for, it helped push me toward change. I'm very early in recovery, but knowing deep down that things can only get worse if I drink keeps me sober in this moment.