namommy

I had been a member of SR years ago. Then stopped coming on regularly, and eventually stopped all together.
I am a recovering Addict/Alcholic. God willing this coming August I will celebrate 14 years Clean and Sober. I am recently faced with some issues that are best dealt with in a Nar-anon or Al-anon setting.
My husband, God willing, will be clean and sober for 22 year this July. However, he has been a dry drunk for many years. he doesn't practice priniples in his life, and has just recently started going back to meetings. It is hard to try to set boundaries with someone when you live in the same house with them. I am not willing to live in an atmosphere where everyone has to walk around on egg shells because they never know what mood he will be in or what is going to set him off. Back in January we had the blow out of all blow outs and I finally laid down an ultimatum. I told him that if he didn't get some help for his anger issues, either therapy, marriage counseling, or go back to a 12 step program (I don't care which one) or I was leaving when our lease was up. He started going to AA meetings and at first things were going well, but the past few weeks, he hasn't been going to meetings, he stopped calling his sponsor and has slipped back into his old patterns. Every time I try to talk to him, he twists everything I say, and it turns into a huge fight. People keep saying that I have to stay out of his business, but where do we draw the line? When is enough, enough? How is he supposed to know how his behavior is affecting our household if I bite my tongue?
Last week, we had another fight. This time I told him that I don't care what he does, but he is not going to do it with me in his life. If his behavior continues, I am moving upstate (which we have been planning), but I am moving me and the kids, not him. I don't have to allow that behavior in my life anymore. Am I wrong?
I am also going through some major issues with my daughter, but that is an entirely different thread.
Any ESH?
Thanks
Laurie