I feel ya. Check out my recent post if you want. My background, is AH left me 2 weeks before I delivered our daughter. Blamed me for everything. Was out drinking, being irresponsible, chasing women, and left me with no money or anything. It came to a head when baby girl was about 6 wks old, and I told him not to ever talk to me again, unless he got some help.
He went to rehab for 28 days, rehab was tough, I went almost daily, and sat beside him, I have attended AA, and Al Anon. I have fully supported his sobriety.
The first 2 months out of rehab he was that changed man you are talking about. He did everything, he bought flowers, he cleaned up after himself, he was a true friend. Only because I had filed for divorce and he thought he was losing me.
The last year has been tough, our divorce was final in November, and there is alot more to the story, however today, I feel I ended it.
Sometimes, it is just the person. You know they say the brain and emotional state is arrested at the age the alcoholism started. In my case the XH started drinking at 18. And honestly most days he acts 18. Irresponsible, and always blaming someone else for his shortcomings.
They do quickly forget all they learned in rehab if they aren't strongly working a program, and depending on if they truly worked their steps or if they just went through the steps.
In my case the XRAH, has regressed back to the selfish man, throwing a constant pity party. Doesn't want to be financially responsible, for me or the family, not available emotionally, but oh, physically, he just wants me to be his booty call.
He is also very jealous of my children from a previous marriage, and it is so juvenile, but my 6yo has a toy guitar she ADORES, and everytime I turn around we are looking for it, and find it in the strangest places, like high up in a closet, way back underneath a bed, and no one ever knows how it got there. Today, after I told him to leave my home, I was cleaning my room, where the kids never play, and sandwiched in between a bunch of sheets and blankets was her guitar. I think it is pretty obvious she didn't do it, and was so excited to get it back.
So for me my list is this.
1. No more of his hiding my kids toys just for spite.
2. No more messy kitchen after he is done there.
3. No more hairs stuck in my bathroom sink after he shaves.
4. No more of his clothes piled everywhere in my room.
5. No more of him endlessly telling me I don't know how to parent.
6. No more of him mooching off of me.
7. No more of his deceitful tactics to attack my sanity.
8. No more of the arguments about how he should act 42, not 18.
9. No more of my children learning to make faces behind my back from him.
10. No more of the complete and total chaos my home has been in lately from my kids to the complete disarray of all our belongings.
Goodbye, and Good Riddance.
Oops, and one more, no more hearing " I was going to do this or that, you just started nagging me before I could do it".......ya, right!!!