My son lived with us after he got out of rehab. We thought it would be fine, especially since he is such a mellow guy. Well, we learned he wasn't all that motivated since we pretty much helped him out. Then he stopped going to meetings, did drugs in our home then stole money. I didn't think twice, he needed to leave. My co-dependent self printed out an application for him to live in the homeless shelter as well as list of phone numbers of other shelters. I packed his stuff and when he came home from work he needed to go. It was very sad but we had had enough. That was almost three months ago. We haven't heard from him but I continue to work a recovery program (al-anon).
I do believe that they need to be out on their own and it needs to be perfectly clear that it is not up for debate. Our addict kids know they can play on our emotions but we need to hit our bottoms and hold firm. It is time for me to live and let my son decide which path he will take. My higher power is now in charge. I have always told my son I loved him and I said it when he walked out the door.
I do pray for you and yours......you see you are in good company here. An al-anon friend reminded me last night that my son's life is none of my business. So true....so true.....