OK, day 3,
Went to bed at 12:30 AM local after watching a movie called "the valley of Ely" with Tommy Lee Jones and Susan Sarandon as the parents of a soldier found murdered in America after his return from Iraq.
It was a '''dad wants to find out what happened to his son and why did he die" type of thriller but it really is a very sad expose about the devastation created by the evil that is the war in Iraq.
The devastation for parents losing a child and the devastation of PTSD and the shock waves of violence and disruption that it brings home to those who have no concept of what really goes on in war.
It was very smartly done with the storyline being interwoven with the video's send home by the son during his time in Iraq chronicling his deconstruction into a violent, torturing dysfunctional wreck and I loved the ending. America is truly in distress.
It may not have been the smartest thing to watch while in withdrawal and alone but at least I watched it sober and that is something that hasn't happened in a long time.
I had panic attacks and nightmares all night but I just woke up from actual sleep to a short telephone call from my husband with words of comfort and support and a sharing of our night of withdrawal. Very nice.
I'm now drinking a cup of coffee and thinking about the film and the fact that this is day 3 and getting easier. Halleluja.
And contemplating the weirdest thing: I'm truly grateful... for the existence of alcohol and what it has given me. Because it did but that is perhaps a story for the gratitude thread.
Originally Posted by
porkchopped 
Margereth - The internet is magic!! You are a true farmer!! That is very cool. And you have the animals to keep you company!
They call it lifestyler here but in England it's smallholder and in the US they call it Farmsteading I think. We run our 1.7 hectare as organic as we can with the help of Wwoofers (Willing workers on organic farms) who are young enthusiastic people wanting to learn about our way of life and stretch their holiday funds at the same time. We offer them a bed and food and they work four to five hours a day. Great system... if you can do it sober.
Hard to imagine that until five years ago I was a stressed out model maker owning my own special effects company with my husband an equally stresses out special effects engineer, eh?
I woke up with three of my cats (One recently adopted us and is a real sweetie) on my bed and a third on a fake designer bag from a previous life.
