(((Beantowngirl))) - I remember when I first began my codie recovery, way back when, and was reading the Melodie Beatitie books (among others) and kept reading "just feel your feelings and they'll pass", I HAD no idea how to do that! I'm an RA, but I was an even WORSE codie and I'd always dealt with feelings by focusing on someone else's "stuff".
A little over 3 years into my dual recovery program (addiction and codependency) and there are STILL times when I have feelings that I just don't know/want to deal with and my subconscious will find the smallest thin to forcus on. Being quiet, just letting the feelings come and reaching out for support when I need it (like coming to SR or contacting my f2f friendsk many of whom are here on SR) took much effort, at first. However, I've learned that the feelings didn't kill me; they DID pass, and the biggest thing is....I grew stronger from the experience.
I know this iss hard..especially when it's the total opposite of what you've been doing most of your life.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy