I can relate, to a degree, excuses are wonderful. They keep us in a suspended state of non reality, and do comfort us--for a period of time--then excuses become our enemy.
Now what? Must we be honest with ourselves, must we face our most dreaded truth?
Yes, if we want to be healthy and move forward with our life in a positive manner.
You are heading in the right direction, keep going, you will make it.