SlvrMag, it wasn't my intention to hurt my daughter (or anyone for that matter) with my codie ways, my addictive personality, but I did.
When we're emotionally immature/children, we love others but focus on our wants first. When we become emotionally mature, we love and focus on our needs and others, not putting anything before them.
I love my daughter but I'm admitting right now, like I just did with her, that I practiced immature love because I put wants before needs (hers and mine both). Sure she was fed, housed, and clothed, but she was also spoiled rotten. She acted like a spoiled child, focused on her wants, and so did I because I had not developed mature love yet. That's what tough love is. It's mature love we have for ourselves first, then share with others.